Mark,
   Here is that story I was telling you about at the shop. I figured I may as well email it to you. If you get a chance to read it this weekend you can let me know what you think on Monday. Enjoy yourself,  Jason


(umpire gesticulating wildly)

Ladies and Gentlemen,
   The story you are about to here is not for the faint of heart. It is also not exactly short and will require some few moments to read. It is true, and if anything, hardly conveys the stark reality of events. I hope you enjoy reading it and welcome any comments.
   Imagine if you will two weeks of bliss, beautiful weather, beautiful cars, beautiful people and a vista unmatched in my experience(at least of city skylines)! Now place two men in this picture and add the second coming of Murphy himself/herself(sign of the times) and a heavy dose plain old bad luck. That is how our unfourtunate adventurers begin their tale.
   It is Monday, 7:00 AM, a beautiful cloudless day. The sun is just streaking over the horizon as the dinghy pulls into the dock. A young man jumps out with a book and takes a seat on a nearby park bench. As he opens his book, a bird sings, as a heron catches his breakfast in the shallows just behind the bench. Within a half hour a cab pulls up and another man jumps out. Together they climb into the dinghy and head out to the anchorage.
   As they approach the sailboat the talk is of the anticipated journey across the Gulf Stream. They have waited for an opportunity to cross and today is that day, a perfect day.
   The baggage is stowed below decks as they ready to depart. They start up the diesel engine and haul out the anchor. Just as they are set to sail off into Biscayne Bay they notice the dark smoke emanating from below the decking. The engine is quickly shut off and the anchor is dropped again. With a flurry of swearing they proceed below to check on the damage.
   Both men are on their knees surveying the 50 horsepower engine stuffed below them. It is hot and the fumes are enough to make them feel sick. After a number of routine checks they notice a bolt is missing from the exhaust manifold. The engine has been leaking oil and water. A simple repair, replace the missing bolt and they will be off.
   Returning to shore they stop for a coffee and muffin before proceeding to a local hardware store. No luck, they do not have the correct size bolt. They hail a cab and within thirty minutes have all that they feel they need. The cab driver is from Cuba and casually explains that Castro had JFK assassinated. It is still early, but nothing can surprise them now.
   Three hours later, our two adventurers have disassembled the exhaust manifold and have found what they feel is the root of their problem. The bolt did not fit and now they know why. The old bolt snapped and is plugging the hole. It will have to be tapped. They disagree on the next course of action. One feels they should call a mechanic, the other feels they can complete the repair on their own. A return to shore is in order.
   It is approaching two thirty as they arrive at the dinghy dock for the third time since the morning. They are starving and decide to order some lunch. As they are eating they discuss the best course of action. They will need transportation by cab or by rental car. A call is placed to Enterprise and the car will be sent out when they have finished their lunch. At ten after three, they call back to request the car. It is to arrive in twenty minutes. Both men head to the valet parking to await the car. Time passes and the car does not arrive. Another call is placed and then another. It is ten after four and rush hour is fast approaching. The parts store closes at five. They need a ride. They see a passing cab and hurriedly flag it down, the car company will not get their business today or in the future. As they jump into the cab they glance at their watches and hope they have not left it too late.
   The driver sets off at a frenetic pace weaving through traffic as if it was a slalom course. Finally it seems they have caught a break. They are confident they will reach the store in time. Seconds later, the words still hanging in the air, the car pulls to a stop. Rush hour is upon them. The next twenty five minutes pass at a snails pace. They will not be able to reach the store before it closes. In a desperation attempt they decide to try a closer dealer in the hope they will have the part in stock.
   The store clerk is in no rush. The cab is parked outside with the meter running. Four gaskets are purchased for $1.25 each. The cab fare has already run to $41.00. Despite the cost, both of them feel lucky to have made it to the store on time. Time is no longer a limiting factor. Their next stop is Home Depot, one stop shopping open everywhere, all the time. They stroll out of the cab in high spirits ready to conquer the remainder of the day.
   Home Depot lives up to its billing. The service is prompt and the advice is excellent. The missing pieces are filled in and they are confident they can tap the blocked bolt. They hail a final cab with four titanium drill bits, a power drill, a tap, the tap kit and one pair of safety goggles. Within twenty five minutes they are back at Monty's Bar ordering dinner. It is only a matter of time before the engine is up and running and they are under way to the Bahamas. They tentatively settle on an 8:00 AM start.
   Back at the boat, the engine is still in pieces. They ready their tools and start drilling into the bolt. By consensus, they decide to start with the small drill bit and save the larger one as something to fall back on. They take turns drilling into the bolt and the going is slow. The first bit breaks like a twig and they are forced to use the spare. After an hour or so they manage to drill through. The tap is readied. The two dollar tap screw is too large for the tap. It spins in the head and will not grab. The younger man tries to use a wrench and learns a wonderful lesson about leverage and torque. The tap snaps in two, cleanly replugging the whole. Profanity ensues.
   After a short time, they set back to work with the large bits attempting to duplicate their initial success. Another hour passes before they manage to drill through for the second time. They reinsert the tap and try their luck again. This time the head does not spin. There is a chance this may all work out after all. The tap turns, but the bolt does not. The bolt is stronger material than the tap and it strips the tap. They have failed, although not from a lack of effort. They reassemble the engine with the new gaskets and hope for the best. It is now 2:30 AM and they are both very tired. Sleep is the only thing left to do.
   Tuesday 8:30 AM, they have eaten and are ready to try the engine. The ignition is fired and immediately the engine rev's at two thousand RPM's. That is only 1500 RPM's higher than the day before. Out come the manuals and the hunt begins anew. They readjust the valves for air, check the coolant, the cables, the plugs and anything else close at hand. They notice that by pulling the kill switch they are able to lower the RPM's. Not a solution, but, it beats entering the canals at top speed. They have long since given up on the Bahamas and are simply trying to limp back to Ft. Lauderdale. It is close to 11:00 AM before they agree to make do with their Gerry rigging. It will have to do.
   Without power they will have to weigh anchor while sailing. Fourtunately, the boat behind them has taken off for the Bahamas earlier and the way is relatively clear. They run through the plan one last time and man their stations.
   The anchor is hauled aboard and the sails set. They deftly maneuver out of the anchorage as if that had been the plan all along. Finally, a smashing success. With renewed vervour they begin to tack across Biscayne Bay. The wind is from the East, directly in their faces. It will make for a tediously slow crossing of the Bay. However, once in the ocean, it will allow them smooth sailing right back to Port Everglades. They are elated, their luck is finally changing.
   On the their last tack before leaving the Bay, the wind dies and changes direction. They are in irons and without the engine they cannot leave the Bay. The coolant is filled and the First Mate stays below whilst the Captain starts the engine. Immediately, water streams from the holes and pours into the bilge. Nothing can be done. After ten minutes the engine is shut off. They need to refill the tank with water. Dawning oven mitts, the younger man pries off the top. It sprays vapor and surges towards his face. The cap feels like it would blow and hit the ceiling. Cursing, and more than a little concerned, the tank is refilled with water. They have made it to the final leg of the channel. It is clear sailing in about one kilometer.
   Below deck the young man is preparing lunch, when suddenly, the ship pitches forward and a plate flies from the counter. What now he wonders? Running quickly above he hears the now familiar sound of literative profanity. They have run aground on a sand bar not 500 meters from the mouth of the Bay.
   The overheating engine is once again engaged and thrown violently into reverse. It makes a metallic gurgling sound, engages and promptly spues black oil from the stern. Now what? They attempt to maneuver off of the sand bar to no avail. It is a rising tide, they will just have to wait and let the cards fall where they may.
   They sit down to pizza with a picturesque view of Stiltsville to Starboard and the lighthouse to Port. It is roughly an hour before they notice that the boat is drifting. Rushing to their stations, they engage the engine and are back under way.
   Finally free of Biscayne Bay they plot a rough course South Southeast at around 150 degrees and plan on sailing out to the Gulf Stream. The world's largest Nautical conveyer belt will add speed on their return journey. It is almost four o'clock and they are tired. The Captain goes below to try and catch a moment of shuteye.
   They have been under way for half an hour and the sailing is great. They are sailing close to the wind, too close. With the Captain below, the First Mate loses the wind and finds himself in irons. He waits a minute to see if the ship will right itself. No luck. He cranks up the engine and regains his course. The Captain shoots above deck to check on the problem. With shaken confidence, the Captain settles into the cockpit, there will be no sleeping now.
   After two hours, they make their next tack and head almost due North. The wind has picked up and they are close enough to the Stream to add a few knots. They settle back, and for the first time, begin to enjoy the day. The weather is perfect, the view of the Coast spectacular. As the sun sets, they muse over it's beauty and all their troubles fade with the setting sun. It is now only a matter of time before they will dock behind the house and sleep soundly on shore.
   It is approaching 9:00 PM, and they have arrived at the beginning of the Chanel to Port Everglades. They will sail their way in, tacking as often as needed. For the last five hours they have been the only boat at sea. As they approach the harbour they notice a freighter fast approaching. Another debate ensues. Race the freighter or tack out of the way. The choice is made and within 60 seconds the freighter steams by in the channel. They resume their course and head inland. Shortly thereafter, they are hailed, and asked to move as far over as possible as another freighter is leaving the Glades. Two large freighters in, seemingly, as many minutes.
   Having navigated the channel they are fast approaching the first, of two, bridges. SE 17th Street Causeway looms ahead. Amidst a shower of sparks they notice that the way is blocked by a huge floating barge, complete with crane and crew. The bridge is up, they are almost home free.
   The radio crackles and they are informed that the bridge is closed until 7:00 AM the following morning. Unbelievable. So close and still so far. The channel is deep and there are cruise ships and freighters docked all around them. They will have to anchor in the channel. Just then the younger man spots a house under construction complete with a dock. Why not tie up to their dock? After a moments pause, they head towards the dock. Within twenty meters of shore the boat lurches to a halt. They have run aground again. The water has gone from over 40 feet to less than six. They are no more than eight feet from a large steel channel marker. Another litany of profanity ensues.
   Again it is a rising tide and they will just have to let providence decide their fate. Within 15 minutes, they drift off back into deeper waters. They decide to drop all of their chain and call it a night. By the time they have eaten it is almost midnight. They both go below to sleep the sleep of the dead.
   The alarm sounds at 6:30 AM on Wednesday. They eat cereal and discuss the plan. With a strong current they will have to time everything perfectly in order to pass the bridge successfully. Promptly at seven they radio the Causeway for an opening. No response. Two radio calls and a half hour later the bridge opens at the request of a boat heading out to sea. They weigh anchor and head for home.
    Last night, they had an East wind of around 10-12 knots. This morning they have a North wind of 2-3 knots. Long past surprise they will just have to make due, by sailing when they can and motoring when forced, they crawl along the canals. The engine is leaking less, the gaskets have sealed under the heat of running. Keeping a close eye on the coolant levels they limp towards home. Under sail they often appear to be standing still. With all they have been through, they do not think to assess the tide until they are almost upon the shallows. There is nothing to be done, if they run aground they will just have to wait.
   Rounding the final turns they hold their breath and brace for the inevitable. After all that has happened, they hardly expect to arrive home without incident. Murphy must have become bored with their plight and moved on to another group of hopefuls. Passing through the shallows, they deftly tie up behind the house.
They have made it home. The future may bring what it will, but, for the moment, they feel victorious and vindicated. They have passed the test, endured many hardships and are the proud new owners a beautiful adventure that will no doubt grow larger and more colourful as the years go by.